Parenting Your Student-Athlete
Mar 03, 2024
"Behind every child who believes in themselves, is a parent who believed first." - Matthew Jacobson
"I love to watch you play!”
Those are the first words that every parent should lead with when talking to their child after practice or a game. The beauty of this quote is that you can customize it to anything in life, and it always works.
“I love to watch you try your hardest.”
“I love the effort you showed today.”
“I love it when you leave it all on the field each practice/game.”
The most important part of this quote is that your children know...
That you love something about what they do/did.
That you are their biggest fan.
That it’s not about the score or the outcome – it’s about the process and the effort.
Parenting is tough stuff! Not a day goes by that I don’t face a challenge I haven’t experienced prior. My kids always keep me on my toes, and I imagine yours do, too.
I remember the thoughts and feelings I had prior to becoming a parent. I visualized days full of my future children’s sporting events, and I wondered in which sport they would compete in the Olympics. I imagined that they would be the star athletes on their respective teams. And, to be transparent, these feelings probably continued for a couple years after they were born.
Then, my visions for them changed.
My goal for them now is that they become happy, well-adjusted and compassionate boys (and eventually men), regardless of whether they are star athletes or computer programmers.
(Don’t get me wrong…I would be over the moon thrilled if my kiddos inherit my husband's and my desire to excel in sports, but that is not my primary goal for them.)
My goal for them is to find fulfillment in something, anything and to pursue it with passion and enjoyment…and, of course, to play a few sports along the way for the primary purpose of teaching them necessary life skills that will benefit them in the future.
Whether your children are going to the Olympics, or they are simply playing youth sports, let’s run through some basic tips for parenting your student-athletes:
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Praise their effort, not the outcome: It's natural for parents to want their child to succeed, but it's important to remember that success isn't just about winning. Praising your child for their effort, whether it's in practice or during a game, can go a long way in building their confidence and self-esteem. Effort is what leads to success, and success isn’t always about winning.
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Keep an open line of communication with your child: Communication is key in any relationship, and the parent-child relationship is no exception. Keep an open line of communication with your child about their sport and how they're feeling about it. Encourage them to talk about their successes and challenges and be there to listen and offer support.
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Encourage balance in your child's life: While sports are an important part of your child's life, it's important to encourage balance. Encourage them to pursue other interests outside of their sport, and make sure they're taking care of their physical and mental health.
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Be aware of their motivation - Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic: Motivation is a big factor in success, and it's important to understand what motivates your child. Are they motivated by their own internal drive to succeed (intrinsic motivation), or are they motivated by external factors such as rewards or praise (extrinsic motivation)? If they are motivated more by external factors, they are more likely to experience burnout more quickly. Understanding their motivation can help you better support them in their athletic journey.
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Be a role model: As a parent, you are one of the most important role models in your child's life. Make sure you're setting a positive example by practicing good habits, being respectful to coaches and other parents, and supporting your child in a positive way.
Remember, being a parent of a student-athlete is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate the small victories and encourage your child to continue working hard towards their goals. With your positive support and encouragement, your child can achieve great things both on and off the field!
And, this quote is too good not to reiterate…
“Behind every child who believes in themselves, is a parent who believed first.” – Matthew Jacobson
In pursuit of positive parenting,
Erin